days 'til armageddon!!!

THE THIRD PAGE OF THE BOOK OF Shao'Kehn SPEWING SANE INSANITY!!!

"You can't be lost if you don't care where you are."
--Unknown







"To become enlightened: say "Rubber baby buggy bumpers" over and over again until you pass out."
--CBOBS, Revelations 1234:5


Please do not use this document as a parachute.



Children are sacred

In Trelli law (the law of my people--well, it's not really a law because there is no government, but everyone follows this law anyway) it is intense blasphemy to harm a child in any way--people harming a child intentionally and exiled to the wild to fend for themselves (an almost certain death). Anyone who does anything to a child without the child's consent is either ostracized or exiled, depending on the severity of the incident. And the most intense blasphemy, the one in which the Trelli will move completely out of charecter for, is child murder. Anyone who intentionally kills a child is arrested and fed to a Pit Plant with no means of defence. This has only happened three times since The Reformation.



IT WORKS NOW!!!

Application to join one of my groups

copy, paste in an email, fill out, and send to fayanora@yahoo.com!

WHICH group(s) would you like to join? (Check ([X]) as many as you want to)

The Shoikinistic Cabal Of Eris By Other Names (TSCOEBON)

The "People From Other Planets" League of Nations.


Given name in full:
Titles:

Species your body is now:
Species you look like now:
Species your mind is now:
List any alien species you once were:

Are you any of these at heart now? (please list)

Alien name (or holy name):

Are you now, or have you ever been, a Cabbage?
Yes
No
Maybe, why do you wanna know?


Age of sexual consent for your species (leave blank if you can't remember or if there is/was none):


Why do you want to join? (5 paragraph essay, five sentences each, five words per sentence...or not)




List cabals you're a member of:




At what age did you first realize your wierdness?


Anything you'd like to add?






END OF APPLICATION!


GIVE ME CANDY!!!

"You saw her posts. Not a single word or idea of worth in the lot. Inbred trailer trash. They can only function as a gang."
--CBOBS, Words of a "Loving Christian" 2000:2 (GYPSYESPRIT)




ME: "You're just jealous because the voices talk to me!"
FIREFORNOW: "They still talking?"
ME: "Yup. One of them is Jesus the Christ, too. He's telling me that he was on acid when he was preaching, and that he was really trying to tell people about the goddess Eris. :-) He's also saying that he and a clone of Richard Nixon from our future (sent to the past by the future Discordian Rulers of the World) wrote the bible together. Jesus was on acid and pot at the time, after a bad breakup with his girlfriend, and Richard Nixon Two was high on ecstacy and humping Jesus's leg. Oh, and Jesus would like me to tell you that to become one with God, you need to drop acid regularly. :-) But then, I can see you already do. :-)"




Forum Signature of a rather bizarre fundie christian:
" I am so tired.... of compromising
I am so tired .... of lukewarm living
Lord, Here I am, with arms wide open,
Lord, Here I am, with heart wide open,
Set me on fire! "

--CBOBS, Hugh Hefner's Pants 33:19:1



FINALLY! An answer to why we're here!

We are here because before we are born, all is predictable, orderly, fair, and calm. And boring. But life on THIS plane of existence (flight #800) is chaotic, unpredictable, often unfair, and far from idyllic. So we bring ourselves into bodies with minds that don't remember what the soul remembers, and we muck through our chaotic little lives. At first, we scream for help, desperately wanting to get back. Then, we grumble, piss and moan, but accept it. Then, we realize the beauty of life's chaotic mess--life is no fun if you have all the answers!!!



"Eris is in children,
Who freely laugh and play,
So do something a child would do,
At least once or twice a day."

--CBOBS; Deep Shit, Chapter I 1 2 Have Fun



      "Desufnoc Tey?
    (1000 points if you can understand what the above text says without using a mirror... and another 1000 points if you can name five uses of a mirror. *snickering*)

"God is a salomi sandwich."
--Neale Donald Walsch





Free advertisement for his show!!! (On Comedy Central)
Ben Stein is a Discordian Saint, because he looks boring and Greyface-like, but he's the funniest guy I've ever seen!!!



"The Ultimate Truth is like an acid trip--never the same way twice."
--CBOBS; Words of Jesus Upon His Enlightenment, Chapter 4



As a Pope, I have the right to excommunicate anything! I hereby excommunicate "President" George W. Bush: Bushy Boy, you are hereby excommunicated!

And as further punishment for his sins against humanity, I hereby DAM him: DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM YOU!!!

Mr. Bush, if you stop being a mean ol' fundy, and if you sincerely apologize to the nation for your behavior, and start being a wonderful person, I will consider de-excommunicating you! *waiting for Heck to freeze over.*





   
SUBWAY--Official Favorite Restraunt of Pope Fay!


Click here to Getchyer Pope Card!


"Where there is a spiritual vacancy there is a fundamentalist to 'fill' it."
--Anonymous


DIDST THOU KNOW?

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase "goodnight, sleep tight".

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month or what we know today as the honeymoon.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them mind their own pints and quarts and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some attention. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

In ancient England a person could not have sex unless you had consent of the King (unless you were in the Royal Family). When anyone wanted to have a baby, they got consent of the King, the King gave them a placard that they hung on their door while they were having sex. The placard had F.U.C.K. (Fornication Under Consent of the King) on it. Now you know where that came from.

In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden... and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.



You rember I mentioned a forum called "Christianity Versus The Darkness" in the last page? A steaming mass of ignorance and hatred, that place. (all bolds, italics, and underlines are that way 'cause I made 'em that way.) Here's what their start page says:

Christianity vs. the Darkness

A turbulent harbor in which Christians can defend their faith against the naysayers and other assorted dark creatures of the universe. Everyone is welcome regardless of religion or lack thereof. Every individual and their ideas are afforded the same courtesy. All topics are open for discussion. Religion, science or current events.

For the past two thousand years Christianity has been the light shining in the darkness. All who wished for a world absent of the seven deadly sins needed only to reach out to that light. Today that light still glows as brightly as it has over the centuries. But there are stentorian dark forces which strive mightly to wipe it from the face of the world.

The ATHEISTS who claim logical and intellectual superiority. Their god is science and yet their god CAN NOT locate the mechanisms of its offspring nature's creation of the world.

The Wiccan, flibbertibgets searching for power in the bottom of vats and chants from the old satanist days.

The lukewarm "christians" who acquiesce to the heathen in order that they may escape ridicule. Who accept the dogma and lies of proof of the evolutionists.

(Oh, it gets better!)

Rules:
1. Read Delphi's TOS. Obey them.
2. I have absolute power.
3. Whiners will be run out of dodge.
4. Submitters of TOS violations reports which are NOT TOS violations will be run out of dodge.
5. This is NOT a democracy. This is Not a popularity forum. If you do not like it, ignore it. If you can not ignore it, move your �ne out of dodge. No one will be gagged based on popularity.


Such nice people, huh? Makes one proud of christianity! (NOT)



"I am part Iriqois. The Iriqois: THE NATIVE AMERICAN TRIBE WITH THE FRENCH NAME! Proof that Eris is Goddess, and reigns. (When it reigns, it pours!)"
--Pope Fay






Invocation of Shao'Kehn to purify something!

Things you need: 1. Sturdy knife, purified prior to use (no living thing can have been hurt by it, to your knowledge. Purify it just in case.)
2. The object to be purified.
3. Altar.
4. Prior practice of the invocation.
5. A lit candle.

1. Find a place where you can be alone with the object needing purification and be left unbothered (like your altar), and cast a protective circle around you. Keep the object out of the circle. Make sure to have a nice solid knife with you (preferably something other than a retractable knife or kitchen knife), as the knife is one of Shao'Kehn's symbols. Keep the knife in the circle. Hold it while you invoke Shao'Kehn. (Note: If you feel comfortable doing so, this rite is best performed "skyclad.")

2. Invoke Shao'Kehn with these words: "Shao'Kehn, sia, Shao'Kehn, Ahnai flo Kriiah Tay'kwiiah, ah-iik mah'chah'lohr'ai thiiah toik! Uuj la zahvahshah flo Kriiah Ah-Koilii veh Kriiah Shoi'kiik, ahglorai la nahjah-maak seh hohrt maik (point to the object), hohrt vahs-nahjah maik, veh moiul-gahnii ziz! Uuj kohrain Kriiah da-Zahvahshah, moiulain hohrt maik TAHDJAH! Yai-yah ziz jokiij hohrt indohn fu'fu'un tahshornk baina ehk TAHDJAH MAIK, ehm sohlohrt tahdjah-maak kindais kohrain quaybahn ulgork ziz! UUJ KRIIAH ZAHVAHSHAH, ZIZ YAHSO BAINA! (dramatic pause) Sahn-Kia, Koh Soh La Kohrain."

3. Or, if you prefer, invoke Her with the English translation: "Shao'Kehn, oh, Shao'Kehn, Holy in Your Splendor, please hear my call! By the power of Your Hand and Your Knife, see the bad-ness of this thing (point to object), this much-bad thing, and make-pure it! By all Your Powers, make this thing GOOD! May it from this day ever forward be a GOOD THING, to give good-ness on all who have it! BY YOUR POWER, IT SHALL BE! (dramatic pause) Many-thanks, You Are The All." (Obviously, the translation changes things. "bad-ness" for example, is the closest approximation to "evil" I have at the moment.)

4. Hit the object with the knife, but don't break or harm the object. Then scream at the object, pointing at it with the knife, to drive away the bad-ness. Then point the knife point upwards, lean back, and say, "(The object) is now purified, by Your power!" (Or Ah'Koi Bahnis language equivalent.) Dip the knife in the candle flame to purify it, and say, "The knife is re-purified by Your power."

5. Say thank you to Shao'Kehn again, as She gets cranky when you don't, and break the sacred circle. Wait a couple weeks, if it didn't work (it should have worked), then rinse and repeat.

Notes: It helps to be forceful and energetic when you do this. Shao'Kehn is a very lively Deity. Practically yell out the invokation, like you're challenging Her to do something She can't, just so She can prove you wrong.



Whose Line Is It Anyway? Official sponsor (or not) of The First Church of Shao'Kehn and Her Cutting Remarks


Funniest person on that show, IMHO, is Colin Mochrie (pronounced Mockery--he's the bald guy in this picture at left), whose name proves there is a Goddess, and She is a trickster!

Another link

Yet another link

Yet another Whose Line link (this one has a webring box at the bottom!)


NEXT PAGE!!!
(Ignore all those buttons below, they're broken.

 





Below is not me.

Above is not me either. :-)




My Other Site
Table of contents of TBOSSSI (if thou darest)
THE GUESTBOOK

Let's have something other than the messiah card on this page...

You are Gonzo!
You're a bit loopy, and many people have trouble figuring out exactly what you're supposed to be. You take pride in your eccentricity and originality.