PAPAL BULLS(hits) AND BRIEFS
by Pope Fayanora



PAPAL BULLS
(These are all links, except the words in UPPERCASE.)



BULLSHIT STUFF

Papal Bull #311: Ahnai Ihndohn
(For getting a day off of work by making your own holyday.)

Papal Bull #312: Vahzii Ahnai da-Ihndohn
(For getting a whole week off of work by making your own holy week.)

The advantage of using someone else's authority for the days off rather than your own is that your boss
is probably more likely to believe you if someone else's authority is invoked.


CANNON-IZATIONS TO SAINTHOOD:

Papal Bull #313: Ahnai-Maak Seh Sahn-Bahn (Ahl)
Declaring the Sainthood of Saint Steve Irwin
(AKA The Crocodile Hunter.)

Papal Bull #314: Ahnai-Maak Seh Sahn-Bahn (Tahl)
Declaring the Sainthood of Saint Charles L. Dodgson
(AKA Lewis Carroll)

Papal Bull #315: Ahnai-Maak Seh Sahn-Bahn (Zahl)
Declaring the Sainthood of Saint Alice Liddell
(Inspiration for "Alice In Wonderland.")

Papal Bull #319: Ahnai-Maak Seh Sahn-Bahn (Kahl)
Declaring the Sainthood of Saint Voltaire
(the Goth Musician, not the Philosopher)

Papal Bull #320: Ahnai-Maak Seh Sahn-Bahn (Mahl)
Declaring the Sainthood of Saint Tara Lipinski
(Professional Olympic-Gold-Winning Ice-Skating Goddess)

Papal Bull #321: Ahnai-Maak Seh Sahn-Bahn (Niama)
Declaring the Sainthood of Saint Rumiko Takahashi
(Creatress of the manga/anime "Inu-Yasha")

Papal Bull #323: Ahnai-Maak Seh Sahn-Bahn (Kukiino)
Declaring the Sainthood of Saint Dakota Fanning
(Young Oscar-Winning Actress)

There is also a Papal Bull number 324, declaring a mystery person a Saint.
"Mystery" because I will not tell you who! It's an EASTER EGG! You have to find the easter egg!


THINGS THAT DISPLEASE ME:
(And stuff)

Papal Bull #316: Ben Maghl-Maak Seh La Dah’ah’rah Seh La Bahn’moiulj Seh La Sahn’suin’tohn
Declaring that playing Country Western "music" as a career is a Macarena-worthy offense.
DISPENSATIONS FROM THE ABOVE LAW:
Papal Bull #317: Fii Krainah Sii'Juug Foht Vahzii
Declaring an exception to bull #316 for several people.

Papal Bull #:318 Ben Krainah Sii'Juug Seh Adolf Hitler
Declaring the release from Macarena of Adolf Hitler after 50,000 subjective years in Macarena.

Papal Bull #:322 Lumin MaGl da-Bahn (Ahl)
Declaring bullying of someone for any reason to be a crime worthy of 5,000 subjective years in Macarena.

Papal Bull #:327 Lumin la MaGl-maik seh Miracle Whip
NEW!
Declaring that Real Mayonnaise is Divine, and Miracle Whip is a False Mayonnaise that is Blasphemy against Goddess.


ET CETRA:
(A Fronte Scribit A Tergo Cogito)

Papal Bull #:325 Ben Nogwahl-maik Seh Monty Python's Flying Circus
Declaring Monty Python's Flying Circus to be Discordian Canon.



PAPAL BRIEFS

Papal Brief #23: Foht taekah seh món
Declaring the Sanctity of Money.

Papal Brief #24: Ben Tébahlihss Seh Macarena
Declaring the existence of, and defining, the realm of Macarena.

Papal Brief #25: Kihbdohn-Spwiin Ahtahvi-Ahnai Seh Spwiin da-Bahn
Declaring the Posthumous Discordian Baptism of all Mormons,
and all those who have ever been posthumously baptized by the Mormons.
Also declaring the all-encompassing Discordian Baptism of all people ever,
living or dead or not yet born, human or not.

Papal Brief #26: Ben Mahl’Shoikahlah-Bahn Seh Templar
Declaring the re-formation of the Knights Templar, including a request to the Catholic Pope
for a formal apology and a demand for reparations.

Papal Brief #27: Lumin MaGl da-Bahn (Tahl)
Going into more detail about the crime of bullying and suggested punishment.

Papal Brief #28: Lumin Ben MaGl-maak Seh Dven-Shoi'kiik
What we ought to do in response to proselization.

Papal Brief #29: Noh'HKwii Jokiij Dwahtaim-maik
Declaring the existence of, and defining, the new ability to ex-communicate someone from all of humanity.