LAST UPDATED 09/23/2008


Incestor [in-sest-or] = n. A person from whom one is descended, assuming "one" was the product of an incestual relationship. Origin: combined "incest" and "ancestor."

Whatknot [what-knot]= n. A knot that, on inspection, appears to be totally impossible; they usually form completely on their own and show up most frequently in cords for electronics or cords for jewelry. Only when they are untangled - either by skill or by luck - do they seem plausible, yet it remains a mystery how they formed to begin with. Example: "People in my house get these impossible knots in things all the time, and I'm always the one that has to untangle the darned whatknots."

Wanking poetic = Being all angsty and emo and making it all artsy with pretty words. Most poems by mopey “emo” kids are examples of wanking poetic. Origin: Combined “wanking” (a British/Aussie term for masturbating and/or complaining) with the phrase “waxing poetic.”

Malicize = to make a word or phrase malicious or insulting. Example: "While the word fluffy is not usually a bad word, James knew how to malicize it with aplomb." Origin: misread of "italicize." (Coined by Lilla Elteto, my girlfriend.)

Occuply = verb. To increase the number of places one occupies at one time, assuming one can multi-locate.* Origin: misspelling that lead to combining "occupy" and "multiply." * Multi-location is my improvement of the word "bilocation." Bilocation is occupying two different places at once (ie, being at home and at work in the same moment of time). Multi-location is bilocation, but being in any number of other places at once.

Hoime [hoym] = 1. n. A place of residence, a shelter for the body but not a comfort to the mind or spirit. A place where one lives but has no affection for, or may even hate the place and/or other people within it, or the people one lives with are merely roommates and very difficult to put up with. Example: "Home is where the heart is, hoime is where the heart is NOT."
2. adj. Of, pertaining to, or connected with one's hoime or country, domestic:
hoime products.

Hoiam [hoy-aam] = 1. n. A place of residence, a shelter for the body but not much of a comfort to the mind or spirit. A place where one lives but has little affection for, or may even hate the place and/or most of the other people within it, or most of the people one lives with are merely roommates and very difficult to put up with. Differs from the word "hoime" in that there is at least one person (a human person) there that you like and/or love. People you have no opinion of either way don't count either. Example: "Home is where the heart is, hoiam is where the heart is NOT. For the most part."
2. adj. Of, pertaining to, or connected with one's
hoiam or country, domestic: hoiam products.

Mondoepic [mon-doe-ep-ik] = More EPIC than The Illiad, The Odyssey, War And Peace, Lord of the Rings, and Star Wars combined, multiplied by ten thousand, taken to the 11,000th power, invested into a Certificate of Deposit at 12% interest for 20 years, cashed, invested on a stock that is doubling in value every other day, sold after a year of said doubling, spent on silver, the price of silver quadruples, sold at that high price, invested in ANOTHER Certificate of Deposit at 50% interest for 50 years, cashed, spent on gold, aliens steal 50% of Earth's gold and disappear into an alternate universe (none of MONDOEPIC's gold was stolen), price of gold increases thirtyfold as a result, gold sold to highest bidders at auction, highest bidders have to pay over the course of 10 years at 20% interest, and then those profits are taken to the power of twelve googol. Example: “George W. Bush is mondoepic fail!” Origin: combined “mondo,” meaning “very large,” and “epic.”

Oikay [oy-kay] = adj. 1. To be okay, but to be completely unsure how you managed it. 2. An expression of dismay, said when one is not really okay but is resigned to one's fate. Origin: typo.

Ewxample [yukes-amp-ull] = n. A very bad and/or gross example of something. Origin: typo.

Fnact [fnakt] = n. A false fact done in a humorous style, that one can (if they have a brain) easily deduce is a joke. Etymology: from the words "fnord" and "fact." From the Latin "fnordus" and "factus." Example: Random Fnact: The Indian (India Indian) mystical sound "Om" came - incidentally - from the misunderstanding a mentally deficient fakir had when chatting with a dyslexic cow. So we have a stupid fakir to blame for "Om." ;-)


(Body Stuff)

Wunny [wun-ee] – From term “going #1.” adj. Having to take a pee. Example: “Since I didn't think I could hold it much longer, I informed Miss Spelling that I was wunny; sighing, she let me use the restroom.” (Note: I came up with this term when I realized there wasn't any word in English to describe having to use the restroom. IE, the only restroom-related adjectives I knew of were constipated, diarrheal, and incontinent.) In my head, this word was 1ey or oney, but those look weird on paper.

Tooey [two-ee] – From term “going #2.” adj. Having to take a poo. Example: “When I got to the restroom, a feeling in my bowels made me realize I was tooey, not just wunny.” (Note: I came up with this term when I realized there wasn't any word in English to describe having to use the restroom. IE, the only restroom-related adjectives I knew of were constipated, diarrheal, and incontinent.) In my head, this word was 2ey or twoey, but those look weird on paper.

Faux poo [foe poo] – n. The feeling, after having pooped already, that there is more there waiting to come out that will not, no matter how hard you try, come out because it is not really there.

Sneh – n. A sneeze that, for reasons unknown, does not come out the normal way but instead disappears down unknown corridors of the body. Example: “I felt a sneeze coming on, and so I did the AH AH, and AH, but when it came time to CHOO, it turned into more of a UGH. It was a sneeze, but without the usual explosion of mucus and air. An aborted sneeze, merely a sneh.”

Hiksuk [hick-suck] – n. A hiccup that causes one to suck in air, especially when one's mouth is open just enough to hear an audible hiss as the lips are sucked in too. Usually hiksuks are by themselves, appearing once in a while at random, but not always. Example: “The room was so quiet that we all jumped in our seats when we heard the sudden hissing intake of air that meant Susan had hiksukked.”

Metataste [met-ah-tayst] – n. An unpleasant taste caused by the mixing of two pleasant tastes. Example: “After the peppermint candy I’d been sucking on was all gone, I immediately drank some iced tea, and the two tastes combined into a horrible metataste.”

Para-metataste [par-ah-met-ah-tayst] – n. When one pleasant taste and one unpleasant taste combine into a much more unpleasant taste, which is a para-metataste. Origin: Combined “para,” meaning “not quite,” with “metataste.”

Wypoo [why-poo] – n. The sensation, after wiping one's butt, of having to poop again, which is caused by the stimulation of the anus by the hand. Origin: combined “wipe” and “poo.”

Kung poo = n. The art of using shit as a weapon.

Piss fu = n. The art of using pee as a weapon.

Guerilla turd = n. An urge to poop that hits you hard and fast without warning, like a guerilla soldier coming out of the bushes, and you HAVE to poop NOW or you will shit your pants.


(Sensational News!)

Agedja vu [aid-jah voo] – n. The feeling as if one has suddenly and accidentally traveled to an unknown point in the past, and the world has an aged and dusty feel to it because of that. Example: “All was normal yesterday until I looked out the window and suddenly got hit by agedja vu, which took me off guard.”

Siennius [see-enn-ee-us] – n. A dream that is sienna-and-white, as in very old black-and-white films that have degraded with age. Plural: Sienniusi [see-enn-ee-us-i]

Chromorphveus [kro-morf-vee-us] – n. An especially vivid colored dream.

Crumbunctuous [krum-bunk-chuss] – adj. Miserably, wretchedly, insincerely agreeable. Has a connotation of being hypocritical. From crumby (crummy) and unctuous.


(All Washed Up On The Memetic Beach.)

Mislexia [mis-lex-ee-ah] - From mis- and dyslexia. n. Whereas dyslexia is caused by a difference in how one perceives spaces and reading, mislexiais simply a misreading of which word it is. For example, mis-reading "marinara" as "marijuana" is an example of mislexia.

Misauria [krum-bunk-chuss] – adj. Mis-hearing something. Of or related to something misheard. Example: Mis-hearing "sit down" as "shit gown" is an example of misauria. Coined by Lilla K. Elteto, a friend of mine.

Gumpery [gump-er-ee] – n. Something extremely stupid, in a funny way that is characterized by being something absurd but not bad. For examples: A bank robber getting into a police car rather than a getaway car –while funny – is not a gumpery. However, a streaking woman escaping the police by running into a convent of nuns would indeed be a gumpery. Inspired by "Forrest Gump." (While not a word original to me, it would seem that my definition is unique. If I am wrong, please let me know and I will remove this word.)

Hyoom – 1. n. A thought coinciding independently with an identical thought in another's mind. 2. v. To think a concurrent thought with another. Example: 1. "Identical twins often hyoom with each other."

Espoozle [ess-pooz-ul] – n. Converted by subterfuge and confusion to a known lie and/or to the obviously wrong side. Example: “I was a very patriotic American, but the clever Russian spy had espoozled me to work for him spying on the country I loved.”

Mustery [must-er-ee] – n. 1. Starting as a misspelling, this word means (to me) a dusty, musty, old mystery that is purposefully left where it was under its ton of dust, often for dogmatic reasons. 2. A mystery that must never be solved or even examined, for whatever reason.

Insuffensorship [in-suff-fen-sor-ship] – 1. n. Censorship that is done so poorly than anyone could tell it was. 2. Self-defeating censorship. Example: “I could hear the words that were censored so well despite the censorship that I told my friend Bonny it was a really good example of insuffensorship.” Related: insuffensored, insuffensoring, insuffensor (equiv. of censored, censoring, and censor.)

Ingenuus Meme [in-jen-oos meem]– n. A free-born meme (idea), a True Belief. From the Latin word “ingenuus,” meaning “free-born.”

Pavlonian Meme – n. A conditioned belief, idea, thought, or meme. Societal training. “Jaime soon discovered she wasn’t really racist, her racist reactions were just the result of the avlonian Meme her parents had conditioned her with.”

Misneomeme [miss-nee-oh-meem] – n. A new meme that is particularly malicious/destructive.

Queet [kweet] – adj. Cute and sweet at the same time. Thought of by Bart Romeijn.

Memetisuppressant [mem-met-ih-suh-press-ant] – n. Anything that suppresses thoughts, thinking, or ideas. Like television.

Idiotsynchroneity [id-ee-ut-sin-kron-it-ee] - n : the relation that exists when idiotic things occur at the same time; "the WTO’s ministerial meeting in Seattle produced an increased level of rioting there."

Idiotsynchronicity [id-ee-ut-sin-kron-ih-sit-ee] – A) The state or fact of something idiotic being synchronous or simultaneous; idiocy synchronism. B) Coincidence of idiotic events that seem to be meaningfully related, conceived in Jungian theory as an explanatory principle on the same order as causality.

Idiotsynchronicity [id-ee-ut-sin-kron-ik] – adj. Idiotic events or things occurring or existing at the same time or having the same period or phase. Example: "The man was always doing idiotsynchronic things. Why, just the other day he cut off his finger from juggling chainsaws while catching his house on fire when trying to boil water."


(What Stimulating News!)

Suisuppressant [soo-ih-suh-press-ant] – n. Anything that suppresses one’s self or Self, either physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, or all of the above. Ant: Suistimulant.

Psychosuppressant [sy-koh-suh-press-ant] – n. Anything that suppresses the mind. See memetisupp

Sociosuppressant [sohss-ee-oh-suh-press-ant] – n. A mythological something that suppresses society. Also sociosuppression. Ant.: Sociostimulant.

Theosuppressant [thee-oh-suh-press-ant] – n. Anything that suppresses a God or Goddess or other Demiurge. Ant.: Theostimulant.

Homogosuppressant [haw-maw-joe-suh-press-ant] – n. Anything that suppresses similar things. Ant.: Homogostimulant.

Heterosuppressant [het-er-oh-suh-press-ant] – n. Anything that suppresses different things. Ant.: Heterostimulant.

Homosexusuppressant [hoe-mo-seks-oo-suh-press-ant] – n. Anything or anyone that suppresses homosexuals. Ant.: Homosexustimulant.

Heterosexusuppressant [het-er-oh-seks-oo-suh-press-ant] – n. Anything or anyone that suppresses heterosexuals. Ant.: Heterosexustimulant.

Bisexusuppressant [by-seks-oo-suh-press-ant] – n. Anything or anyone that suppresses bisexuals. Ant.: Bisexustimulant.

Hermaphroditisuppressant [her-maff-roh-dite-ih-suh-press-ant] – v. Anything or anyone that suppresses hermaphrodites. Ant.: Hermaphroditistimulant.

Homosupressant [hoe-moe-suh-press-ant] – n. Anything or anyone that suppresses a person or people. See also sociosuppressant. Ant.: Homostimulant.

Exosuppressant [eks-oh-suh-press-ant] – n. Anything or anyone that suppresses alien life forms. Ant.: Exostimulant.

Logisuppressant [law-jih-suh-press-ant] – n. Anything that suppresses logic. Ant.: Logistimulant.

Democratisuppressant [dem-oh-krat-ih-suh-press-ant] – n. Anything that suppresses Democracy. Ant.: Democratistimulant.

Memetistimulant [mem-met-ih-stim-yoo-lant] – n. Anything that stimulates thoughts, thinking, or ideas. Like a good, stimulating book. Synonym: Psychostimulant.


Homogocide [hom-mah-joe-side] – v. Killing similar things; killing something/someone similar to you.

Heterocide [het-er-oh-side] – v. Killing different things; killing something/someone different from you.

Homosexicide [ho-mo-seks-ih-side] – v. Murdering a homosexual/homosexuals.

Heterosexicide [het-er-oh-seks-ih-side] – v. Murdering a heterosexual/heterosexuals.

Bisexicide [by-seks-ih-side] – v. Murdering a bisexual/bisexuals.

Exogenocide [eks-oh-jen-oh-side] – v. The complete annihilation of an alien race.

Exohomocide [eks-oh-homm-oh-side] – v. Killing a person of another species.

Hermaphroditicide [her-maff-roh-dite-ih-side] – v. Murdering a hermaphrodite/hermaphrodites.

Temptocide [temp-toe-side] – n. Attempted murder that harms, but does not kill, the victim.

Morticide [mort-ih-side] – 1. n. The death of Death. 2. v. Killing Death.

Veraciticide [vair-ass-ih-tih-side] – 1. n. Death of Truth. 2. v. Killing Truth.